Tuesday, September 25, 2007

.
.
I just have to write something here because I feel so overwhelmed and I feel myself pulling away from this blog. It is so hard for me to put into words when my sisters or parents call or people ask me how I am. The truth is that even those people who love me the most get a lot of their insight into how I am feeling from this blog. So I don't want to stop this because I don't want to break the lines of communication. But I am finding it harder and harder to put my feelings into words.
.
Please don't give up on me and stop reading.
.
It helps me to know that people care. I don't know what to tell them to do or say, but it does help to know that people are still "with me". I feel so alone in my own head.
.
I just want someone to tell me that everything will be okay at some point in my future. And more importantly, I want to feel that way. Sometimes I do, but as more days go by it seems that my feelings are intensifying.
.
How could this have happened?
.
I had a life full of happiness and promise and everything good. Now I can't even make sense of tomorrow. All I know for sure is that my children and I are here. Left.
.
.

10 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry Robin. I am here, still reading, still listening.

Braydon said...

I'm here reading every day and hearing every word.

Jessi said...

Robin:
I read every day. I am here every day. I am thinking of you.

Heather said...

Robin, I'm reading every day (I check it multiple times a day). I care so much. I am "with you" even though I'm not there with you. I don't know how this could have happened. I am just sick about this for you. I am also *SURE* that everything will be okay at some point in the future. I don't know when that will be -- but I know you, and I *know* that you will survive and be okay. I love you and I'm thinking of you all the time.
love,
Heather

Katie said...

I am still reading every day too.

Jenny_Lin said...

You're in my thoughts every day, all day. I love you.

Tracey said...

Robin,
I have to believe that we will all get through this. You WILL feel somewhat human again one day. I know you WILL!! Lots and lots of time needs to pass in the meantime. I am still here reading this blog and staying with you every step of the way. I just haven't written on it lately because it is getting harder for me too. I know my pain is different from yours and I can't imagine since my pain is so deep what your pain must feel like. But I do think of you and still pray for you everyday!!
I love you

Steph said...

You will be ok.
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
I just know that you will.
You are doing everything right.
Keep writing.
Whatever you want.
Whenever you want.
Whatever comes up.
We're here.

Anonymous said...

Robin,
We read everyday too!
Please keep writing. It sounds weird to say (write), but you are not only helping yourself through this vague healing process, but you are helping all of us that read also. We don't know what to say, or write most of the time, but we are here.
Thanks,
Dew

Heather said...

I could never give up on you Robin I love you