I don't know what to write here......................I just am at a loss. Mostly at the moment I can't write here because every other word that goes through my mind is a swear...like if I was talking I would have the mouth of a truck driver (sorry truck drivers). I just feel ANGRY and pissy most of the time. Luckily when it comes to my kids they make my heart melt and I feel a warmth from them. EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKS. Even when I was watching Extreme Home Makeover last night (which I rarely watch but the house was in NH so I watched), I couldn't help feeling somewhat angry because so many problems have solutions, but not mine. The people had lost their house in a flood, they were going to lose their land, etc etc...they've had an awful year. But they had a solution and they are happy again. Me....no solution. No Extreme Makeover here. Just suckiness. There's just no way around this, nothing that can be done to make it better.
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I know that everyone deals with death at some point so I know my situation is not unique. Death of a person you love is hard.
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2 comments:
It makes me realize why the world is so messed up. All those people out there who have to deal with the death of a person they love, but who don't have Luke's and Alyssa's or friends or family in their lives to bring them at least some moments of warmth.
As sucky as it is, and IT IS, you are loved. And that it something.
I'm so grateful for the moments of warmth you have in your days.
I love what Steph wrote. I never thought of it that way, but that seems so true. Rob, as for you-- hang on, keep struggling to keep your head above water, and go ahead and go OFF like a truck driver every chance you can (i.e., whenever L & A aren't within earshot). Your situation *does* suck. There is no way around it-- only through it. And that's why you're sooooooo inspiring to me... because you ARE going THROUGH it, right straight through. And that's how I know you're going to be o.k. down the road.
Lots of love today and every day,
xo
Heather
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