I don't know what to write here......................I just am at a loss. Mostly at the moment I can't write here because every other word that goes through my mind is a swear...like if I was talking I would have the mouth of a truck driver (sorry truck drivers). I just feel ANGRY and pissy most of the time. Luckily when it comes to my kids they make my heart melt and I feel a warmth from them. EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKS. Even when I was watching Extreme Home Makeover last night (which I rarely watch but the house was in NH so I watched), I couldn't help feeling somewhat angry because so many problems have solutions, but not mine. The people had lost their house in a flood, they were going to lose their land, etc etc...they've had an awful year. But they had a solution and they are happy again. Me....no solution. No Extreme Makeover here. Just suckiness. There's just no way around this, nothing that can be done to make it better.
I know that everyone deals with death at some point so I know my situation is not unique. Death of a person you love is hard.