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I think I might just.....excuse my french.....lose my shit.

Safe to say I am stressed to the max these days. I can't elaborate on all the reasons, but you know, grief is enough to do it. On top of that my son has been sick with a terrible sore throat since last Sunday, as in a week and a half ago. You may remember that I took him to the doctor last monday and he had an ear infection and they tested him for strep, which he did not have. So he got off the bus today almost in tears because he felt so badly. He seemed fine when he got on the bus this morning. This afternoon he said his throat hurt really badly and I could tell it hurt him to swallow. So I packed up both my kids and brought him back to the doctor's office. The doctor looked him over and sent us to the hospital and we had blood work on him to test him for mono.

I will find out tomorrow if he does in fact have it. Part of me just wants a confirmation of what is wrong with him, and the other part hopes he doesn't have it for obvious reasons...he won't be able to play t-ball due to the fact that your spleen can swell as a result of mono and so you have to be careful not to get his there; he won't be able to go to school some days and will be half days until he feels better; it lasts for quite a long time (weeks); and of course I don't want Alyssa or mysef to get it.

Right now I am just beside myself. He is in bed and not comfortable. He keeps having coughing fits (which he does not have during the day) and he winces in pain. I don't know. I just want my husband to tell me he'll be fine. I feel like at these times, it's too much to be alone.


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