Sometimes I wonder what Joe would think about this blog. A month ago I would have told you there is absolutely no way Joe would read something so sad, had someone that he loved died. The reason I thought that is because **I often thought of** Joe as an optimist sometimes to the point of complete denial of negative things. He always wanted and usually did surround himself with happiness.

Then one day last week out of the blue I had this clear memory of Joe sitting at my computer quietly and me coming up behind him to see what he was looking at. This memory was from two years ago.

All of a sudden I realized I was completely wrong. Joe would read this blog every day. I know this because I remembered when our niece was in the hospital, there was a "blog" of sorts about her progress, and Joe read it every day. He checked it multiple times a day to find out any new information about these people that he loved. I know this because we would talk about it often, and I would see him check it from my computer at home.

This realization made me learn something new about my husband. He was not "an optimist to the point of denial about negative things". He was someone who did not focus on the negative of what could happen, he was not a worrier. But when bad things happened, he was very present in the situation.

I miss him.