Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dreams

People sometimes tell me of dreams they have had of Joe.

I have had exactly 5 dreams of Joe since last summer. In every single one of them he is leaving me or has left me for someone else. I am desperately in love with him in my dreams and he is just walking away to be with someone else. I wake up feeling awful and confused and PISSED and wishing I hadn't had the dream.

I cannot explain to you how absurd that it is for me to be dreaming this, it is not something that I worried about (him leaving me/cheating on me,etc) EVER since we got married. Before we got married I was more jealous but honestly every year that went by in our marriage I just had this feeling deep inside that he would NEVER leave me EVER. He was so loving and always telling me that I was everything he wanted and made me feel so loved. I am not saying that he never looked at another woman and didn't say she was hot, etc or joke around with the guys but I knew that he wasn't going anywhere. So for me to dream this is just so weird.

I have tried to figure out why my subconscious is thinking this and what I can get from it but I come up with nothing. After the first dream I thought....maybe the other "woman" was his motorcycle (something that I did actually tease him about) but come on, 5 dreams?

Does anyone have any ideas on this?

Would it be so much to ask for a dream in which I can tell him how much I love him and thank him for all that he gave me? A dream in which we could just be regular, like nothing ever happened? A dream where he tells me he is fine and he knows I am taking care of his children? This is making me more angry just writing about it.

4 comments:

Heather said...

My mom has a dream book. Maybe you can ask her to borrow it. It helps me sometimes. But other times you sorta have to read between the lines.

I also think that dreams come from something that you think about or worry about a lot.

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
xianfern said...

Every time I want to leave a comment here, I can never figure out what to say.. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I am constantly amazed, and impressed by how well you evoke your emotions...I guess the only thing I have to say is that you truly inspire me.. to be a better mom, a better wife, and a just a better person..thank you Robin...

Anonymous said...

But of course he did leave you. That is what your dream is telling you.