Sunday, June 15, 2008

It's weird how some days like today (father's day) can be worse than what you expected.

Today I just want someone to hug me and tell me that everything will be okay, that Joe is alright and that my kids will be okay.

I was sitting at my desk this morning, tears pouring out of my eyes but I was quiet. The kids were playing with the puppy. All of a sudden they were beside me talking to me. I turned to them and told them "You guys I'm sad about daddy today". Alyssa just went about her business with the dog. Luke got the same nervous look that he always does when he sees me like this. I hugged him and kept telling him that I am fine, I am fine, I am fine. I know it's hard for him to see me like that. I feel a little guilty when he sees my tears, but this is life.....and that was his dad.


Steph said...

Joe is good and your kids are great and somehow everything is going to be okay. Sending you love and wishing I were there to hug you in person.

Anonymous said...

I am sending you a big hug Robin.....I am sure that Joey was right near you watching your tears and holding you.....

lilleskat said...

Dear Robin,

I know this will be a surprise but hopefully not a heavy or disappointing one. I wrote a letter to you on June 1st but never mailed it. I thought of you on Father's Day, and of course Joe. And I have been thinking of you today. So for the third time, I went onto your blog (I love the pics of the Red Sox trip!). I am including (below) the letter that I didn't send. I understand wanting simplicity so I'm glad you have your friend Jamie. I'm also glad you have Jeff. I am sending this with simple peace and a long-held hug, and of course with love,

Dianne Chalifour (cousin)

June 1, 2008

Dear Robin,

It has taken me so long to be able to write this, for a lot of reasons but I was compelled today to reach out and just let you know I think of you and Luke and Alyssa so often. At first I just couldn’t accept Joe had died and then so much time had passed I didn’t know how to reach out to you. But I wanted to let you know that I pray for you and the kids and that almost every day I think of Joe and therefore you and the kids. I have only read your blogs twice but each time I read many days of writing. I think you are an amazing writer - you capture the moment and the emotions so sharply. The stories you write about the pictures of the kids are priceless (they would make a beautiful book). I especially love Toast from May 30 - and laughed so hard at the comment of fast-forwarding 10 years doing shots in a basement. I agree with you, if anyone deserves a toast together, it’s those 4 kids.

I wish you strength and peace that perhaps only time and forging on can give you. And yes, you are young and I do hope you find another love someday.

You are a gift to those who lost Joe because you are giving us so much of him through you, and through the children, and we do realize you are a separate person and woman so thank you for being who you are, and for sharing what is such a personal and deep part of yourself.