All the end of the year stuff with the kids is hard. Alyssa graduating from preschool (silly I know but still a ceremony which I attend without my husband), field trips, field day, another school year ended, a new summer beginning, just all that stuff that reminds me of what my kids and I are missing. And Father's Day....can someone please make all the Father's Day talk STOP?! Everywhere I look there's a sign or a commercial or an ad or something. It rips my heart out to think of my kids seeing/hearing those things. --I know, I know-- the world doesn't revolve around my family. And I'm sure many different holidays bring up the same emotion for other families for their own specific reasons. And I know there are lots of great and wonderful fathers out there (like my own) that deserve their special day. I know all that, but still, Father's Day hurts a lot.
Luke said to me this morning "I want to give my book (a book he made at school) to Uncle Jeff for Father's Day". He said it very confidently and I was both surprised and not surprised when he said it.
I was not surprised because I have told my kids time and again that if all the kids are making something for their fathers at school at any time of the year, they can make something for another man they love, one of their grandfathers or an Uncle, etc. (**I am gigantically simplifying this last statement because we have had long and many talks about this kind of stuff in which I think about/prepare in advance). Anyway, last year Luke's teacher did not do anything specific for Fathers Day, which she said was out of respect for Luke. I thought that was extremely kind of her, as it was his first year without his dad and I was entirely unsure of what it would be like. This year the kids in Luke's class didn't do anything big either but they did talk about Father's Day to some degree (it helps that it falls at an extremely busy time of year--end of school). I hate thinking about my little boy in class during discussions about Father's Day. But it is a fact of (his) life.
So, the reason why I was surprised that Luke told me he wanted to give his book to Uncle Jeff was because his tone was very "un"sad and very confident of what he wanted to do, and it was entirely unprovoked. He just came up to me and told me. Luke generally is pretty lackadaisical about this kind of stuff-giving gifts-as I am sure many 7-year-olds boys are. I don't think he's ever had something and said "I want to give this to mommy" (absolutely no offense taken either, I want my kids to do their acts of love/kindess towards me in a completely unprompted way). I was surprised because of Luke's own thought and desire to do something kind for his Uncle on Father's Day.
So I guess while he's sitting there in class, and they are talking about Father's Day, maybe he was thinking of what he does have instead of what he doesn't have. And what he does have is an unbelievably loving, energetic, committed and reliable Uncle. There's nothing sad about that.