We've had a very emotional week considering the news with my niece, Jordyn. I know there are some people who read this blog that don't know me "in real life" so the basics are that my 8-year-old niece has fought a hard battle with cancer and at this point the treatment that she was receiving is not working as well as the doctor's had hoped it would. They have let her go home and will continue chemotherapy there to keep the cancer at bay as long as possible. Of course everyone who knows her and her family is praying for miracle.

At some point I may post more in detail about what the situation with Jordyn means to me and Luke and Alyssa (I could write pages and pages already), but I honestly feel like doing that now is not respectful to the great pain and struggle that Jordyn and her parents and sister are going through. They are at the center of my thoughts constantly.

I have talked to Luke and Alyssa about what is happening and we continue to talk about it as often as they bring it up. They know that no matter what happens, the three of use will get through it together. They seem to be doing okay.

Last week I was very busy working to try to help to pull together a welcome home celebration for Jordyn. It was good for me in that it kept me busy and working on a project, so I didn't sit and dwell for long periods. On Saturday, when it was all done and the project was "complete", it was difficult for me. I don't know if I will ever get used to walking into an empty house with Luke and Alyssa and knowing that, we're all here, it's just the three of us now. Whenever I go to any sort of gathering/party/event, no matter what fun I have when I am there, it is always followed by that empty feeling of being alone when I go home. Obviously I am not physically alone, since my kids are with me, but trust me, it is a lonely feeling nonetheless. And that lonely feeling along with everything that is going on in my life right now basically sucks. I am very thankful for my family and friends and how much they love me and my kids. It's not the same though, as having a constant companion and love in my life.

No comfort, no soft place to fall.
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