Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The following is from a draft of a post that I wrote a long time ago. I listed ironies surrounding Joe's death, and there were a lot of them. I can't post the whole thing because it is simply just too painful for me. This irony in particular though is one that I have often thought back on:

There was a conversation Joe and I had a week before the accident in which I was worried that something might be wrong with my own health. One night I was just beside myself in worry. I told him that based on things that have happened in my life that have shown me that no one is safe, that we are all living in this temporary state, that at any moment things could change, and I felt like I was always waiting for the ball to drop. I was waiting, waiting for "it" to happen. He told me that I couldn't live like that. We talked about what would happen if worst case scenario occurred, and we thought the whole thing through and I made him tell me that he would take care of the kids if something were to happen to me. That he would go on without me. That he would be okay.

God, I still can't believe we had that conversation.

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