Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I'm about to make the final payment on Joe's truck. He only drove it for a short time before he died, but he loved it. I haven't been able to get myself to sell it, even though it hasn't made a lot of sense to keep it. When I drive it, I feel a little closer to him. For a long time I'd open the center console and look at the change in the slots and imagine his hands putting it in there. I think of him driving to the dump on Saturdays with Carlie, and how happy he was doing that. He was such a happy guy, always finding joy in the littlest of things. He had fun along the way in life, it is something to be admired.

Paying off the truck feels strange to me. I will be happy to not make the payment anymore, but something about it feels sad. Somewhere inside me I must have felt it was something I was doing for him, maybe a way I was keeping him with me. It's another end to a very long chain of endings.

No comments: