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The kids have been saying more stuff that makes me know that they are feeling the longing to see their father. It's hard to convey the things that they say and honestly, the words are only part of it.

They are basically coming to grips with the fact that they are not going to see him again and that this is real.

It tears me apart.

The grief that I feel in terms of me not seeing my husband again is horrible, and my children's grief is equally as horrible for me.

I am carrying three huge loads of grief. One load is enough.

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