These last days have been bad, bad, bad. I am just so angry to be in the situation that I am in, on so many levels. Then I feel guilty to some extent because I have so much to be thankful for.

Tonight I was talking to someone on the phone in a somewhat lighthearted conversation and I said...."I was at a birthday party today with a magician"....then I said...."while I was watching his tricks all I kept thinking was "can you make me disappear"'. I couldn't even believe that I said it out loud and it was also kind of inappropriate considering I don't know the person I was talking to very well.

Oh well.