Thursday, June 11, 2009

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I am curious, how is everyone else doing in terms of Joe's death? Do you think about it more, less, that same? Does it hurt more, less, the same? Is anyone moving towards peace? Has anyone had any experiences that have given them comfort? Is it "normal" to anyone that this has happened? (normal not in a negative way but I guess do you have more of an acceptance of him being gone than you did?).

I know everyone misses him deeply, that goes without saying. But the pain, has it decreased for you?
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7 comments:

Katie said...

To be totally honest, most of my moments consist of, "I can't believe this happened." I am still in total disbelief.
I have in no way accepted either Joe or my brother's deaths and I think since they happened within 3 months of eachother, there is so much hurt for me that I really can't process either one. (Which is odd because almost 2 years later, it is still not easier to understand or accept it, like I would've thought/hoped it might be 2 years ago.)
Everyone talks about "time", this supposed magic remedy for pain. I don't feel that yet. So I would say that it hurts the same. I currently practice avoidance the best I can though.

Do you think that by posing this question, that this is a small step for you? I only ask because I can recall a time when this would be too painful a subject for you, much too painful to discuss.

Steph said...

It's been a long hard struggle but I know I'm moving into a more peaceful stage. There is still pain, but the edges of it are smoother....less raw..less sharp. The missing though....the missing is deeper...it's become a part of me that I don't think will ever go away, and frankly, I don't want it to. Missing him has made me more alive, and I will always love him for that.

Heather said...

ummm no. It still hurts a lot. Every time I hear a motorcycle (doesnt help living in laconia during bike week) or a certain song or seeing something or hearing something that reminds me of him. Talking about it doesnt hurt any less either. And half the time I am still in disbelief. I want to believe it was a dream. But its not. I guess i just move at a slower pace to cope than other people.

Anonymous said...

I have thought more of Joe in these past few weeks than normal...I think because we are starting to spend more time at lake and also been looking at lots of pictures in prepration for Jeffrey's graduation (Joe was in many of them!!). Jeffrey often askes me why? and that he still finds it hard to believe such tragedy can occur. Our "hurt" was nothing reletive to the hurt of your family! ..... we often speak of Joe (and it is sad) but....it always ends with us laughing about how great a guy he was and how he touched our family!!! We miss him still....but love to see him in both Luke and Alyssa

DMA

Heather said...

My own heart breaks for you, Robin, just as much today as it did the day I got that phone call from Stephanie. The pain I feel for you -- a real, grieving pain that I feel for you -- has not become any less over time. It comes and goes in waves, but it hasn't diminished at all. And I think of you and Joe and Luke and Alyssa (and often think about your whole family, actually) every single day with no exceptions.
hbj

Anonymous said...

i keep hearing terms like average joe, joe the plumber and stuff and i stop and reflect. whenever i see pictues of alyssa with a smile from ear to ear i am paralized, i see jeff showing luke how to throw and catch a ball and am so grateful hes here all the time.

and i see the quiet pain in your eyes and voice sometimes and i would give anything to make it go away

Anonymous said...

I have to admitt that I haven,t excepted the realization of not having my son here on earth anymore because excepting this is too much pain to take another breath.....But I do realize that all 5 grandchildren need us now and with God,s Grace He will see us through this nightmare that just doesn,t go away. I think this year is just as hard as it was ;last year if not worse in way,s