Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I am facing some big decisions in my life right now. Huge choices, that have a direct impact on the future of my children and myself. Choices that are difficult and could cause me extreme pain in the short term, and possibly the long term. It would not be appropriate for me to give specific details. But I am deep in thought about this.

I am thinking about what my actions teach my children. I am thinking about what would be best for the three of us. I am weighing all of this with the knowledge the world is not a fair place and is full of unpredictability.

All of this causes me to go inward. Because regardless of all the love I have from family and friends, I walk alone. Truly, I do walk alone. No one else lives in my house. No one else looks at my children's faces every day and will live their lives with them. It is me with that privilege, and I hold it high.

Since I was a teenager facing difficult decisions, and sometimes not difficult ones, I have heard a voice in my head that whispers a phrase to me. We all face choices: Take the easy way out or take a route that's more difficult or painful? Life is full of these. Today when I was thinking about all of this out of nowhere I heard the phrase again, it is:

No guts, No glory.

This time there is no glory really, but the phrase still has meaning for me. It says "don't back down and be true to yourself". It says "take the risk and hope for the best". It reminds me that this is life, and true, meaningful things in life are not acheived by always taking the safe route. It reminds me that when my children are standing at a crossroads, and they don't know what to do, I want them to remember the phrase, "No guts, no glory".

No matter what happens, my children and I still have each other. And I am going to focus on that.

1 comment:

Steph said...

You are a powerful woman of strength and courage and you are capable of making this important decision for your family. You have my support no mattter which course of action you take.